30 October 2007

Scarey Moments

It was a really gorgeous dark chocolate brown satin blouse......I thought.
So I picked the Large. I am a 12 top but the sizing in some of the cheaper shops are way out. No, I mean it. You know.
I walked into the fitting room with Katie who had a couple of maternity tops to try on.
I always change with my back to the mirror and then as I turn round to see my reflection for the first time in the new outfit, I know instantly if it works for me.
Sometimes its good, but this time it's ughhhhhhhhhhh...... it was a tiny weeny bit to small for me LOL.
OMG, diet, not again, not another diet.
I had put the blouse over my head not wanting to undo all the buttons and I had forced my arms into the little sleeves and I really mean 'Forced' into this gorgeous little blouse and do you know, I don't know why for life of me why I did that, so stupid of me.

As I looked at the reflection I started to glow, I could feel the heat rising....panic had begun to set in.

I knew all to well what was happening and I could not stop it. I thought about shouting to Katie for help.....I was too embarressed. Katie would tell me off; I just knew it. I can hear her saying, 'MUM what were you thinking of, you should have known when you put your arms in, it is too small for you'.

I turned away form the mirror, could not bear to see myself. I looked like a big brown bloater.
I was trapped in this gorgeous chocolate brown satin blouse. A soft satin blouse that should have gently touched my female curves and clung ever so lightly in all the right places, had suddenly turned into a straight jacket...............this was a thick old satin........a no stretch at all satin....not cut on the bias satin!
Rigid, tough and taking Sh..t from no one satin.

I decided to try and calm myself, take control again........slowly I tried to pull my arms out. No, they were not budging, stuck in forever. I had a quick look again in the mirror. The tops of both arms were getting redder, like a Tourniquet this blouse had a grip of iron.

Turning away form the mirror, I grabbed both sides of the blouse and desperatly tried to pull it up and over my head. Not a chance, not moving even a millimetre.
Deep breath and yank harder. No way. I think this blouse was laughing at me!
I am going to pull so hard and stretch my broad back as much as I can and this bouse will give in and rip, I hope. Then I will be free........

No way said the blouse.............I cupped my face. I could feel tears getting ready to flow.
One more try......come on Carol you can to it.

Breathing out, I crossed my arms to grab a hold of both sleeves and to try and move the satin bandage, even a little bit may help............eeeeeeeeh eeeeeeeeeeeeeh then with a quick flick of my hands I changed position to grab both side of the bouse and pulled upwards again. Yes, we have movement.

I hate you, you horrid satin blouse. Yes it's off.
I very quickly got dressed and brushed my long blonde hair back and calm as you like, walked from the changing room as if nothing had happened.
Katie was standing outside by now, frowning. I dare not tell her what I had been through.
I am a cool Mummy.


Cowboys & Custard said...

Oh ... poor you... I could feel the panic rising as I read your very familiar story..
It is for this reason that I rarely buy clothes from shops any longer.. I am an online shopper.. no longer can the shop assistant snigger as I return all the clothes to the rack.. humiliated by my unyielding size. I had a similar horrible experience which brings back palpitations just thinking about it..
It may have been a very naughty blouse but it did sound very nice... chocolate brown.. my favourite colour!

Alchamillamolly said...

Re your thoughts on the painted kitchen - when we first moved in I cobbled together a kitchen from old units and it was cream - I loved that kitchen even more than the new one I got several years later. It was the look I adored - country, shaker, smallbone, the lot. The kitchen I am going to is identical to the one I have here (see earlier blogs) and is the perfect shape to look good post painting....It wont be the first job - that will be persuading hubby to the idea.......... love the curse of the brown blouse - why don't designers and manufacturers get it right?? Right I am off to bed. Night night

Anonymous said...

Hi Carol, choclate brown satin, how yummy! You poor thing, this is EXACTLY why we avoid shopping for clothes, and change rooms!! Although impossible to avoid for too long but try to for as long as possible!! There is a lot to be said for buing online!! Jenn and Jacqui!

Jacki said...

Yes, you're cool! I can so empathize; I won't hardly try clothes on any more.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I've looked through yours and really enjoyed it - will come back tonite when I have more time!


Sandi McBride said...

This is one of those "head down on the puter desk" ones...I'm still laughing, because I HAVE HAD THAT SAME BLOUSE ON! I have this thing about shoes, love pretty shoes, and what size do I wear you ask? Yes you did, I heard you...I wear a 7 but an 8 feels so good, I buy a 9 lol!

Lois Billingham Currie said...

Thanks for telling us even though you didnt tell you daughter. Now I know that I am not the only one that has been in this pickle.


Your predicament has really made me giggle, sorry!

The Nostalgia Fairy said...

Recognise the changing room scenario. Horrible when the panic sets it. Very entertaining post though!!!!

bj said...

This is an absolutely PRICELESS piece of work, lady. You should be a writer...your first book would hit the Best Seller List before the pages cooled! I laughed so hard!
Thanks for starting my day off with such humor.

Country Cottage Chic said...

Hahaha - you wrote so wittily but I can imagine the panic!Obviously they make their clothing WAY too small!

OhSoVintage said...

You described this so well so that the reader felt the tensions also! I hate changing rooms - where else does one have no choice but to undress in front of a mirror under bright light? Now I am middle-aged I always feel I look like my mother in changing rooms. Last week I tried on so many skinny jeans and came away without any and feeling so old and lumpy!

Anonymous said...

I love you already, i have never laughed so much at this part (in a nice way).
(I very quickly got dressed and brushed my long blonde hair back and calm as you like, walked from the changing room as if nothing had happened.)
Thank you for your farrow and ball advice,after seeing your kitchen i think i may have just found my color.your house is yummy!!!
Right i'm off to read the rest i'm so enjoying your blog. xxx

Carla said...

I love reading this kind of posts. It.s early in the morning now, but it.s almost if I can feel the same what you went through. I hate bying clothes for that reason.

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Hahahaha! Didn`t mean to laugh but I can see that all happening so clearly. Great description. I thought only those types of moments happened to me :)